Some people may share that they have attended several seven-day retreats, which makes them seem very diligent and remarkable. Others may say that they can meditate for four hours a day or have read a certain sutra hundreds of times, so they may seem impressive in terms of quantity. However, we should think about why we are doing these things. One can sit still for two hours while meditating, or attend 50 seven-day retreats, but what is the result? Do we have fewer vexations? Do we stop quarreling with our families because we are skilled in meditation? Are we more gentle when dealing with people and things in our daily lives?
Sometimes, we see people who are skilled in meditation but have bad tempers. They love to meditate, enjoy silence and dislike noise therefore, they do not like to talk or interact with others. If you disturb them, they will get angry. As the saying goes: “It is better to stir thousands of rivers than to disturb the hearts of practitioners.” He thinks that he is a practitioner, and hates being disturbed. When he interacts with others, he acts like a hedgehog or cactus and makes others feel very uncomfortable. Whether you are sitting, practicing meditation, or studying Buddhism, you may have to think about the meaning of these numbers accumulated in the process. Besides making us feel good about ourselves, do these numbers help us reduce our vexations?
In fact, with these numbers, there is at least one thing we can be sure of: you will not spend your time wandering around either mentally or physically. Although prostrating to the Buddha many times does not guarantee fewer vexations, if he does not prostrate to the Buddha, he may have an even worse temper, wandering thoughts when free, or even laziness or verbally abuse others. So it is not to say that these numbers are completely useless, it mainly depends on yourself.
How do we know whether we have grown? The so-called growth, or progress, should be a kind of subtraction, not addition. What should be subtracted? Our vexations, greed, hatred, and ignorance. When you see your greed arises, or when you are about to lose your temper, do you notice it more quickly than before? Or, when you suddenly want something very badly and know that your greed has arisen again, you will alert yourself in advance. After that, you will use the methods you have learned to deal with it. You may use the concept of compassion, or the concept of karma. For example, knowing that things are impermanent and there is no need for material excess. This is when you are applying the concepts and methods, which are both necessary.
If we want to know whether we have made progress in learning Buddhism and meditation, we should focus on what we have reduced. Have we reduced our vexations? Have we reduced our greed? Have we reduced our hatred? This is our true goal of studying Buddhism and practicing meditation.
